Moving On
by IkimonoAngel
Summary: Some chapters hav songs. S+S. Sakura's been waiting for Syaoran then decides it's not worth all the pain. She moves to China, forgetting that he lives there. Will they meet again? R&R CHAPTER THREE IS FINALLY HERE!!
1. The Decision

Moving On  
  
Carmen: Okay, here's an intro: It's the same story as in the show, but without the cards. Sakura decides she loves Syaoran once he's gone, and has been waiting eight years for his return. Now she's nineteen. But she's been so er… obsessed… that she's been distant at school and with her friends. Now that they've all graduated high school, her friends have moved away while she still lives in a small home in Tomoeda. They are a little mad at her for ignoring them for so long. She doesn't know where they live. This first chapter is based on the song "I'm Movin' On" by Rascal Flatts. I don't own or the characters from the show.  
  
Chapter One: The Decision  
  
I've dealt with my ghosts and I've faced all my demons  
  
1 Finally content with a past I regret  
  
I've found you find strength in your moments of weakness  
  
For once I'm at peace with myself  
  
Sakura had faced all the problems of the past eight years, and decided to forget it all. She forgave herself for her foolishness, yet she wished she had seen what was coming. She hated what she'd done, but she'd managed to pull through and forgive herself and everyone else. Sakura had finally come to terms with her actions.  
  
I've been burdened with blame, trapped in the past for too long  
  
I'm movin' on  
  
She saw that she'd been hurting her friends and herself by clinging to her childish dream. She had thought she could never let it go, but now she knew she had to move on with her life. There was nothing left for her in that dream.  
  
I've lived in this place and I know all the faces  
  
Each one is different but they're always the same  
  
They mean me no harm but it's time that I face it  
  
They'll never allow me to change  
  
But I never dreamed home would end up where I don't belong  
  
I'm movin' on  
  
Sakura had lived in Tomoeda all her life and she knew everyone in it. They all liked her, and she would always be able to recognize them anywhere. But she wanted to be around people who wouldn't see her as she had been when she was a child. She just couldn't stay in Tomoeda anymore. She couldn't stand the fact that their views of her would never change.  
  
I'm movin' on  
  
At last I can see life has been patiently waiting for me  
  
And I know there's no guarantees, but I'm not alone  
  
There comes a time in everyone's life  
  
When all you can see are the years passing by  
  
And I have made up my mind that those days are gone  
  
Sakura had finally realized that she'd completely ignored her life for all these years. All she ever thought of was those eight years that she spent idly waiting for her love. But she had made herself stop thinking of them, had made herself push them into the darkest corner of her active memory.  
  
I sold what I could and packed what I couldn't  
  
Stopped to fill up on my way out of town  
  
Sakura sold everything she could bear to and packed all her suitcases. She loaded up her car and drove away with only a message left on her father's answering machine. She got some gas, and then sped away before the attendant could ask her where she was going. That was a question she could not answer.  
  
I've loved like I should but lived like I shouldn't  
  
I had to lose everything to find out  
  
Maybe forgiveness will find me somewhere down this road  
  
I'm movin' on  
  
She knew that she had loved no one else but Syaoran, just like she was supposed to. But she had let everything and everyone else become unimportant in her life. Now she had lost all her friends to various colleges, mostly in other countries. That was what made her realize how much she really needed them. She hoped that she could completely forgive herself someday, now that she was leaving the past behind.  
  
I'm moving on  
  
I'm moving on  
  
She took one last look back as she left the limits of Tomoeda, and headed for the airport. Sakura never wanted to return to the place that she knew would haunt her forever. There were too many memories, and she hated to remember all the pain she had caused. She was moving on. 


	2. Two Reunions

Moving On  
  
Carmen: Here's chapter two, see disclaimer in chapter one. This is a really weird chapter. It's also a little… um… (For lack of a better word) yucky. Involves mention of a suicide attempt, and the reading of the results of the attempt. Not a very optimistic chapter, but I'm not in a good mood and I think it's okay. This chapter has a happy ending.  
  
Chapter Two: Two Reunions  
  
It had been three years since that day that nineteen-year-old Sakura up and moved far away from home. Now she was twenty-two and had completely forgotten everything about the eight years that had caused so much pain. She had moved countless times, and unknowingly moved to Hong Kong.  
  
She had quite a bit of money somehow, and got herself a three-story brick house in a nice neighborhood. It seemed rather big, so she let the maids do what they wished with the top floor, even live there if they wished. Sakura never went up there.  
  
She got a job as a salesclerk in a large store that sold magical items. (AN: Let's just pretend that they pay her A LOT… And that magic is normal ad ordinary and people actually DO buy stuff in the stores) Sakura was fascinated by the objects, and loved her job. She especially loved the books. They were books of stories, the legends about some of the items. Sakura was allowed to read them if she caused them no harm, and she had read nearly all of them. Customers were happy to hear some background on what they were buying, and so the shop prospered with Sakura behind the register. One day, another cashier quit because she was moving. Sakura hung a 'Help Wanted' sign in the front window.  
  
The owner of the shop was a very nice woman named Ashley. She was in her mid-forties and had lived most of her life in America before moving to Hong Kong and opening the shop. A couple weeks after the sign was put up, Ashley told Sakura to interview a guy that wanted the job. She would be traveling again, getting new products for the shop. So Sakura agreed and the next day the man came in.  
  
Sakura had grown her hair to shoulder-length, but otherwise she hadn't changed how she looked. The guy stared at her when he saw her. "Sakura?" he asked quietly. "You know, you're the first person to notice that I wear a name tag. Can I help you?" Sakura replied. "No, Sakura, don't you remember me? I'm Syaoran Li." Sakura nodded. "You're the guy I have to interview about the job," she said. She started to walk towards the office, but he grabbed her wrist.  
  
"Sakura, what's wrong? I know it's been eleven years, but I thought you'd never forget. I spent two years in Tomoeda, and I promised I'd come back. But I wasn't allowed to. Don't you remember?" Syaoran pleaded. Sakura got angry. "Look, I don't know what you're trying to pull, but I have no idea who you are. And I don't know how you know I came from Tomoeda, but I left that place three years ago. I'm never going back. I don't remember why I left, but I know that Tomoeda is full of horrible memories that have long since been forgotten. I don't know what you're talking about. All I can remember is that for eight years I was depressed and now my friends don't like me. I don't remember why, and I don't want to. Now go away! Ashley can interview you when she gets back; I'm not doing it. OUT!" Sakura shouted.  
  
Syaoran didn't leave. He kept on arguing. "Sakura, why don't you remember those things? At least tell me that much!" he yelled. Luckily, there was no one else in the shop. "Fine! You want to know why? Because I wanted so bad to forget that I couldn't stop thinking about it. So then I stopped thinking about whatever it was, and I've thought of it since. I don't even know what it was anymore. All I know is that I ignored my friends, I was barely passing in school, and I was depressed. I tried suicide once, a few months before I left. It was that bad. I hated it so much, but I enjoyed the pain of cutting my arms so deep that they're scarred forever. I have to wear bandages all the time so I can't see the scars. It would bring back those horrible memories. You have no idea how much I hated myself for being that horrible to my friends. I made myself forget. I burned all the pictures and diaries and I destroyed everything else that might bring a memory. And then I forgot. After everything that happened, I had to replace that frequent memory with another, and now all I ever think about is… my…" Sakura was sobbing and dropped to the floor, crying.  
  
She hadn't bothered to put her hands to her face, and they rested on the floor next to her legs. While she was crying, he silently unraveled the bandage on one of her arms. He read the words that the jagged cuts made, and he froze. They said:  
  
He's not here, where is he?  
  
I love him, doesn't he know?  
  
Sakura was still bawling and didn't notice as Syaoran also read the message on her other arm.  
  
Hurts so much, feels good  
  
Syaoran? Where? Why?  
  
Love you  
  
The 'u' trailed off as if Sakura had fallen unconscious and as her hand went limp the blade had cut the ragged line. Sakura was still just above hysterics, and she read the scars before she could realized what she was doing. Then she noticed the lengths of white gauze in her lap. She cried harder, remembering more with each fallen teardrop. Syaoran cried too. He couldn't believe he'd caused all that. He hugged her tightly and she cried for a while. They were out of view from the window, yet no one came in.  
  
"I'm sorry Sakura, I really am. I didn't know something like that… I'll never forgive myself," Syaoran whispered to Sakura. "Not your fault," Sakura said in a small voice as if she were a child. "My fault. I wanted you to come too much. You couldn't have known. I went crazy," she said. "Not your fault," she repeated after a while.  
  
After a few more minutes, Syaoran stood, picked Sakura up easily, and set her down in front of the bathroom. "Clean yourself up. I'll close the store and take you home," he told her. She nodded and he started to lock the place up.  
  
"I'm going to give you the job," Sakura said in the car. "It's the least I can do to apologize for breaking down like that." Syaoran stopped at her house. "See you tomorrow then. Would you like me to drive you there tomorrow?" he asked. Sakura shook her head. "Dea will drive me. She's a very nice maid," she answered then went inside. She pulled out a big box from her closet. She opened it and took out the Christmas cards her friends had sent her. Only Tomoyo and Rika had written the return address on the envelope, and only Tomoyo had written a phone number in the card.  
  
Sakura called the number. "Hello?" came a little girl's voice. "Hi. May I speak to Tomoyo?" Sakura asked. "Which one? My mommy or my sister?" the girl asked. "Your mom, please." Sakura could hear the girl calling for her mom, and then she heard Tomoyo's voice on the phone. "Hello? May I ask who is calling?" "It's me, Sakura." There was silence on the other end.  
  
"Is it really you Sakura?" Tomoyo asked at last. "Uh huh. What's up with the little girl and the other Tomoyo?" Sakura replied. Tomoyo giggled. "Well for starters, I've been Tomoyo Hiiragizawa for three years, and I have Tomoyo and Churusea, twin little girls. They're almost three and then their brother E.J. will be one in a few months. E.J. is Eriol junior. How have you been doing? How are your… uh… arms?"  
  
Sakura launched into the whole story that she'd told Syaoran, ending with the encounter at the shop. "Tomoyo, would you bring your whole family here for a visit? I haven't seen you in almost four years, and then those eight years… never mind. But do you think you could?" Sakura asked. "Don't be silly Sakura! We'll all be on the next plane from London to Hong Kong. Eriol just got a vacation from work, and we didn't know where were going to go with the kids. It sounds like you've got quite a bit of room on your second story, and I know the girls would love living with the maids upstairs. They're like that," Tomoyo said. They arranged everything, and then hung up. They would arrive in two days.  
  
Rika's address was in northern Japan, but Sakura couldn't find a Rika Sasaki in the phone book listings for that area. Then she looked up Rika Terada, just out of curiosity, and there it was. She called and asked for Rika. "Hello?" "It's Sakura Kinomoto, from Tomoeda."  
  
Unlike Tomoyo, Rika burst out in excitement. "Oh my gosh, Sakura! I never thought I'd hear from you again! I tried to call you to invite you to the wedding, but the person that answered said you'd moved. So where are you anyway?" Sakura, a bit taken aback, answered slowly. "I live in Hong Kong now. Guess who I ran into today?" And so they talked for a while, and then Rika agreed to come for a visit for the same two weeks that Tomoyo would. Mr. Terada, their fourth grade teacher, was unable to go, but she was.  
  
From Rika, Sakura got the phone numbers for Naoko and Chiharu, and soon she had a full-fledged reunion planned for the next two weeks, starting in two days and lasting for two weeks.  
  
*  
  
Sakura met Syaoran at work the next day and he decided to help her transport the nine people from the airport to her house. Ashley had agreed to let one of the other girls take over Sakura's job for the next two weeks, so Sakura wouldn't have to go to work every day.  
  
*  
  
Finally, Sakura and Syaoran found themselves waiting at one of gates. This was the plane that Tomoyo's family was coming in on. They would be first to arrive, then Naoko, Chiharu and Yamazaki, and finally Rika. The woman came onto the speaker. "This flight is now landing. Please clear the waiting area so that the passengers can get through. Thank you." Sakura watched as a flight attendant opened the door to the hallway that the passengers would come down. She saw a blur of dark purple hair, and then her best friend was hugging her. "I missed you so much Sakura!" Tomoyo said loudly, nearly crying.  
  
~  
  
So, what do you think? I would appreciate it if you reviewed. Sorry for the whole suicide thing, I know that they're all way out of character. I hope this chapter is as long as it seems. I originally was going to cut it off before Syaoran agreed to help, but I figured I'd give you all a little happy reunion so that you don't go off feeling depressed. Oh and by the way, Sakura is almost always wearing long sleeves.  
  
Review please!  
  
-Carmen 


	3. Do I still love him?

**Moving On**

Carmen: Here's chapter three, see disclaimer in chapter one. This chapter is S+S fluff, and there's a sappy song that I stuck in to make it interesting. I plan on putting songs in a few of the other chapters too. This one is Helplessly Hopelessly by Jessica Andrews. I suggest you download it and listen to it while you read. If you need a program so you can download it, download KaZaA at www.kazaa.com. 

Chapter Three: Do I still love him?

**_I can stand with the weight of_**   
**_The world on my shoulders_**   
**_I can fight with the toughest_**   
**_Of the tough_**

Everyone had arrived and had been driven to Sakura's house. They had decided to spend the first few days of their reunion at the beach. They were all sitting on their towels, watching the sun go down on the beautiful empty horizon. They were all alone at the beach. Sakura decided to go play in the waves for a little while while everyone else watched the stars come out. Syaoran watched her instead. She was teasing the waves by getting close and then running away as they came towards her. She'd let herself get ankle deep sometimes before jumping up and down, splashing water and sand all over her legs. He thought about how tough she was sometimes. Like when he'd first seen her at the shop a few days ago. Wow, it seemed like much longer than that. At times like that, she seemed to be able to do anything. 

Sakura was also thinking about how strong she seemed sometimes. She knew that everyone thought she was brave and tough because she had run away and made a life for herself on her own. And she knew that last week she would have said that she could stand up to anything. No matter what it was, she had enough self-control to withstand any emotional problem. Nothing could ever touch her heart again. It had developed a barrier around itself. But ever since the day she found Syaoran, the protection had somehow been ebbing away. 

**_I can laugh in the face of_**   
**_All my insecurities_**   
**_Anytime, anywhere, anything_**   
**_I'm strong enough_**

Sakura suddenly fell over as a large wave hit her from behind. She yelled as the water tried to pull her out to sea. Her friends started running towards her, but Syaoran was fastest. Sakura might be a great swimmer, but not when she was caught off guard like that. He managed to reach her and get her back to shore. Sakura coughed up water and tried to rub the salt from her eyes. One leg was bruised just above the ankle and it had a nasty red cut across the bruise. She had gotten caught on something. Sakura cried as Syaoran held her in his lap. Eriol and Tomoyo had run to get towels to try and use as bandages. Chiharu and Yamazaki were going to see if they could find a first-aid kit in the car and Rika was going to get a bottle of water from a vending machine by the boardwalk. Tomoyo and Eriol's girls were alseep back on their towels. It was just Syaoran holding Sakura, watching as she tried to cough up all the seawater she'd swallowed. He patted her back, trying to help. She leaned back against his chest as she panted for air. He didn't notice as his own arms slid around her waist and she rested her hands on his.   
  
**_But when you're holding me like this_**   
**_I'm carelessly lost in your touch_**   
**_I'm completely defenseless_**   
**_Baby, it's almost too much_**   
**_I'm helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly_**   
**_Falling in love_**

Sakura felt so safe and completely forgot the pain in her leg. It felt good to lean against Syaoran. He was only wearing his swiming trunks and Sakura was wearing a halter-top bikini. Almost her whole back was bare. Sakura sure didn't feel strong anymore. She felt completely relaxed as his fingers brushed against her bare stomach. He was also in the same state of unconsciousness. It was just Sakura and Syaoran right now. No, it was one person. There was only one person out here. 

**_So let consequence do what it will to us_**   
**_I don't care_**   
**_Let the stars stand witness to it all_**   
**_Say the word and tonight I will follow you_**   
**_Anywhere_**   
**_I just can't pretend anymore_**   
**_That I'm too sturdy to fall_**

Syaoran didn't feel all his training as a child. He didn't think of all the times he had been told not to fall in love. He was supposed to marry Meilin in a few years, even though neither of them wanted it. He knew that Meilin wanted him to find someone else and break the arrangement, but was he really ready to admit that he still loved Sakura? Sakura didn't know what to think. She knew that she had loved Syaoran, had _obsessed_ over him for years, but did she still feel that way? She knew her heart wasn't impossible to reach anymore, but was she really ready to fall in love again? Her mind screamed yes. 

**_'Cause when you're holding me like this_**   
**_I'm carelessly lost in your touch_**   
**_I'm completely defenseless_**   
**_Baby, it's almost too much_**   
**_I'm helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly_**   
**_Falling in love_**

Sakura felt that she shouldn't be doing this, that she needed time to decide a lot of things. But she didn't move. Syaoran was thinking about it too. But his heart did a system override on his brain. He didn't move either. 

**_I am not afraid_**   
**_I am not afraid_**

Sakura felt her senses filling with Syaoran. She could feel his heart beat against her back, and smell his... his Syaoran scent. She listened to his soft breathing and held her fingers on top of his, feeling their skin touching. Syaoran was feeling the same things. He was completely aware of everything about her. Except for one thing. One thing they both wanted. 

**_'Cause when you're holding me like this_**   
**_I'm carelessly lost in your touch_**   
**_I'm completely defenseless_**   
**_Baby, it's almost too much_**   
**_I'm helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly_**   
**_Falling in love_**   
**_I'm helplessly, hopelessly, recklessly_**   
**_Falling in love_****__**

Sakura turned her head to look at his face. They looked into each other's eyes for a while, and it seemed like their breaths came at the same time. Sakura felt a warmth wash over her body as he lowered his lips to hers. She forgot all her thoughts about not being ready to love him again. But it was too late. They had already fallen in love again. They stopped kissing after a while, and then they heard footsteps on the sand. Syaoran quickly took his arms off of her stomach and she stopped leaning against him. Her friends quickly bandaged her leg and they all went home. Syaoran stayed at Sakura's house, although no one believed that he was 'too tired to drive himself home'. Both Sakura and Syaoran fell asleep dreaming of each other. 

~ 

How was it? Thought I was going to forget about the cut, didn't you? Well I thought I'd give you a mushy chapter after that whole suicide thing. Any suggestions for songs? I'd be glad to check them out. I'm going to use Every Time by Jessica Andrews in the next chapter. Don't know when it'll be done, I hope soon. Bye for now! 

Review please!   
-Carmen 


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